Increase Your Self Esteem -And Improve Your Life

By Nicola Forshaw NJ Coaching

Having a good opinion of oneself is often associated with vanity or arrogance. Having high self-esteem, however, is to be in a healthy psychological state. Those who are in a healthy psychological state are more likely to achieve their life goals. People with high self-esteem are often calm, positive, purposeful, expressive and assertive. They are completely comfortable in their well nourished and exercised bodies. They do not seek approval from others, they are confident in their own actions.

Conversely, people with low self-esteem experience fear; they can feel negative, passive, tense, de-motivated, and generally unhappy with life, with no desire to change – “what’s the point?”. Whenever self-esteem is low, success and happiness is affected. The world can appear to be a very grey place.

Self-esteem and health are inextricably linked. By keeping healthy, you will feel motivated to identify and achieve your life goals, which leads to higher self-esteem. In turn, having high self-esteem means that you value yourself enough to want to look after your health!

If you find that your self-esteem is low, find below 5 top tips to help you move forward.

Step 1 - EXORCISE THE EXERCISE EXCUSES!

So you hate the idea of going to the gym? Why not try a new or invigorating hobby, such as canoeing, skydiving or rollerblading. Go for a long walk, rather than a run. Take up gardening. Try a different approach to the gym - go at a different time, try a new class or routine, find a partner to go with. By associating exercise with something you enjoy, rather than perceiving it as a chore, you will increase your motivation levels. Plan a reward for yourself after each activity. After each session, endorphins will be making you feel good, so give a word to this feeling, and say this word to yourself whenever you feel like you can’t be bothered. You will soon discover a new vitality.

STEP 2 - BE YOUR OWN CRITIC

If you are your own critic, you can measure how accurate other people’s criticisms are of you! Make time for self-reflection and self-appraisal every day. Some questions to ask may include:

• What have I achieved oday?
• What have I enjoyed?
• How have I taken care of myself?
• What could I do differently/in a better way?
• What goals can I set for tomorrow/next week etc
   

Review your life so far, and view it as if you were watching a real life movie. What type of movie would it be – comedy?, action-packed?, tragedy? What are your successes so far?

Now ask yourself what type of movie you would like it to be? What would be your achievements? Give your movie a title, and identify which actor/actress will play the leading role. What are their qualities? What can you do to make this movie your real life story?

Remember the title. Keep a picture of the leading actor close to hand. Use these as affirmations and reminders of what you want to achieve whenever you are feeling down or de-motivated.

Step 4 - LISTEN TO YOURSELF

Sometimes we experience very sad periods in our life. If you are experiencing genuine sadness, to allow these feelings to build up can be damaging, and may lead to depression. Give yourself permission to feel sad. Shut out the world for a while, and set aside private time to heal. Give yourself some comfort - a soak in the bath, special music, nice food, etc and explore how you are feeling.

Don’t be afraid of tears. If these feelings of sadness persist, consult your GP, who may be able to recommend a counsellor, who will be able to support you.

Step 5 - PUT YOURSELF FIRST

Putting yourself first sounds selfish, doesn’t it? But consider how much time you spend helping others, whilst not taking care of yourself first. Check how much you are giving to others. People with low self-esteem often give too much of themselves to others, which can leave them feeling resentful and unworthy. Tell yourself that you are worthy of your own time and energy.

Nicola Forshaw is a professional life coach with an advanced diploma. She is dedicated to supporting life/work aspirations, and is an experienced relationship coach. Nicola offers a FREE initial consultation. Contact her at mail@njcoaching.co.uk or you can visit her website at www.njcoaching.co.uk